Hope

It's when i get into the Word that hope is the strongest. My time away from it brings doubt and depression.

God's plan

And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the Lord doth man live. (Deuteronomy 8:3 KJV)

The desire of God to teach me, that it is only by His hand that I live today. He has sustained me, His word has kept me going these years of financial difficulty, lack, want. The process of learning obedience has been and is a slow process because of old stubborn ways. Don't fight Gods plan, but rather embrace it